My goodness, another week has already gone by! You may be a week older, but I’m still 18!
I had a few dozen cocktails to get me in the mood, and since my poolboy is off studying for his midterms, it can only mean one thing: time for your letters! Here we go . . .
Dear Robert,
My boyfriend wants me to engage in more exciting (some would say kinky) relations with him. I really love him, and it sounds fun, but I get nervous just talking to my gyno about my lady parts. What should I do to relax?
-Tight but willing
Dear Tight-
Sounds like you really do need to loosen up–figuratively and literally!! I do understand where you are coming from. Shocking as it may seem, before I became a strapping rake, I was once a demur little shaver. Thank god the early-mid 90s are over!!
Here are a few tips to try:
First, get a time machine and go back to 1976. Enjoy some Bicentennial fever and buy a few Quaaludes. Come back in time ten minutes before your boyfriend is set to come over. Take one and then be ready to take him!
If that doesn’t work, try going slow. Drink a glass of wine and watch a re-run of Sex and the City. Tell your boyfriend that you really want to try and enjoy more things together, but you really need to take it slow. Keep an open line of communication and give things a try. Don’t be afraid to be afraid. If it hurts too much, stop. And if all else fails use the old queer standby of Poppers. Just one sniff and you’ll be wiiiiide open!
And please remember: he’s a dude. Anything you do will rock his world!
P.s. Don’t forget to use a rubber!
Dear Robert,
My boyfriend gave me a VD for Valentines Day. He is real sweet, but should I dump him?
-Bumpy in Belleville
Dear Bumpy-
Yes.
That’s all the time I have for now!
Questions? I have answers. Email me at Lateniterobert@yahoo.com.